Cool Sayings

Cool sayings:

You can't be bored unless you're boring.  Don't use the B word.

This is a first world problem.

Getting old ain't for sissies.

Beauty is as beauty does.

Inch by Inch everything is a cinch.  Inch it.

Can't never did.

German Pancakes!

Wish I knew earlier about German Pancakes.  My good friend Kathy McKeon made them all of the time.  They are so easy, fast and fun.  I should have made them more for my kids when they were young. 

1 stick butter (I only use 1/2 stick)
1 c. milk
6 eggs
1 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt

Melt butter in a 9×13 pan while oven preheats. Heat oven to 425 degrees. In a blender, mix eggs and milk; add flour and salt and blend again. Pour mixture into pan with melted butter. Bake 15 to 20 minutes at 425 degrees. (This will rise, but will not run over pan.) Cut in squares.

Let Me Sail, Let Me Sail, Let Me Crash Upon Your Shore!

Why is there a boat in Janet's backyard?  Many of you might remember it.  This is the story about the who, what, when, where, why and how of it.

1965 was the year we moved into our own house in La Verne, California and built a pool in our backyard. As was our way, we built boats out of my mother's patio furniture. She must have voiced her frustration loud and often enough to get my father working towards a solution.

He built us a motor boat by the diving board out of wood complete with a cabin below furnished with waterproof cushions. My mother had her patio furniture back and we had our permanently moored home (ship) away from home. We slept, ate, played and worked on our boat night and day all summer long.  The only reason to come into the house was to go to the bathroom or get dressed for church.

Fast forward to 1984. Bill and I bought a brand new home on Skyblue Mesa in Santa Clarita, California. One of Bill's clients was California Pools and I was just itching to have our own pool in the backyard.  So we did it.  My fond memories of my childhood were alive and well on Dorothy Street and I wanted the same memories for my children.  I am grateful that my father was an artist, a civil engineer and handy with tools because he must have passed it onto me.  So not long after the pool was completed, I dove into this project.

I planned to build a sailboat that was twice as big as my dad's boat -- I have twice as many kids!  Every morning about 7:00 I would pile all of the kids that were in residence (I usually had at the very least one or two extras and sometimes more -- time before seat belt laws) into my blue VW Vanagon and head off to Lumber City.  I would buy as much as I could afford and put into the van.  We measured and sawed and hammered and sanded and painted.   The kids and I learned how to use power tools.  I had originally planned to place it on the end of the pool by the shallow water, but when I realized that it would obstruct my full view of the pool from my kitchen window I knew we had to move it to the side of the pool.  So we all hopped in to the water and moved it -- there was no way this boat would not sink in water it was so heavy!

Twenty-four feet by five feet and three decks -- this boat was definitely bigger than the boat of my childhood.  We set the mainmast complete with a boom and pulleys for the sheets (that is sailor speak for ropes) and rigging.  I sewed and grommeted a mainsail and a jib from sheets (the  bed kind).  My dad (Grandpa Mattingly) added the finished touch a real wooden wheel and a ship's radio.  Below deck was a galley and sleeping quarters in the stern.  This sailboat was ready.  

And so were my kids and me!  We stowed our gear below -- an ice chest full of drinks, lunch and snacks, a cassette stereo, towels, sleeping bags and snorkeling equipment.  We weighed anchor, pushed off, and hoisted the sails.  The wind filled the sails and we were soon off and running upon the waters of our fantasies.

We set sail for places far away. "From Bissau to Palau in the shade of Avalong. From Fiji to Tiree, and isles of Ebony. From Peru to Cebu, feel the power of Babylon. From Bali to Cali, far beneath the Coral Sea." (Enya) Oh, what adventures we had those hot days. When it got too warm we would go overboard and swim and snorkel in the deep blue. We even slept on board on warm nights.   

We would only berth our ship to procure supplies or take on passengers (or use the restroom -- we were not allowed to pee in this ocean!) On one occasion (for the third birthday celebration for Jeff Soto, Jeff Thompson and Adam Risser) we were boarded by pirates!  We even decorated it with twinkle lights when we had a wedding reception in our backyard.

All boat owners know that regular maintenance is a must. So every year we would sand, paint, make repairs and sew new sails for a family work project. As the children got older we would vote as a family on whether we wanted to keep the boat -- and consequently commence the huge refurbishing project. The sailboat won out every year until Jeff, our youngest, was entering into Sierra Vista Junior High. That year, after a decade of yeahs, the vote was nay. Sadly we broke the boat up for firewood for Refugio.

What a great family tradition was started all because my mom wanted to sip iced tea by the pool in her chaise lounge and my dad actually paid attention!  Go figure?!  I am feeling wanderlust now that I have sailed on seas of memories.  I am thinking my grandkids would love to sail away with me -- what do you think?

We can sail... sail away...

1963 in Danville, California -- that is the year and site of the first of many embarkations to circumnavigate the worlds of our imaginations.  Russ, my brother, Ann, my sister and I made up the crew of our haphazardly rigged sailing vessels.  Who was our skipper?  Who can remember that far back?  But, being the oldest I must have thought I was!

1963 was the year we first moved into a home that had a built-in pool.  We lived in the pool from the moment the thermometer read into the 70's and on into the fall.  It must have been a frustration to my mother that her patio furniture was continually being seized by pirates for the construction of intricate sailing vessels.  She was especially exascerbated because most of the time it was my father who masterminded these ship plans!  He had the most creative imagination!

So that summer we casted off on one of the many adventurous voyages to "lands I've never been".  We lived in swimsuits, ate on the boat and sometimes slept on board all night.  We dived for treasure wrecks, swam with the dolphins and even had a few close encounters with pirates and sharks.  There was never any doubt our minds that my brother and sister and I led the most exciting lives when all the other kids must have been bored out of their minds!

DO WHAT IS RIGHT -- WRITE!

Thoughts are created in the act of writing.  It is a myth that you must have something to say in order to write.  Reality:  You often need to write in order to have anything to say.  Thought comes with writing, and writing may never come if it is postponed until we are satisfied that we have something to say… The assertion of write first, see what you have to say later applies to all manifestations of written language, to letters…as well as diaries and journals.  ~Frank Smith~

My problem this week is that I have a lifetime of things to write about and I cannot decide what to write about.  I guess that I regret not being a better journal keeper.  It always seemed that if I had time and inclination I wasn't having a full, fun and busy life.   Most of the time that I was involved in creating memories worthy of writing them I was too exhausted or did not have enough time or energy to get them down on paper.  

I love watching my children, especially my daughters and daughters-in-law, be better than I was at their age.  Jenny writes in her journal all of the time.  She has made it a part of her life.  I have to find out how she does it.   

Technology has been a boon to my journal writing.  Writing on the computer is way easier and faster.  The best I did at keeping a journal was when every Sunday I would write to my missionary sons about my week.  The most comprehensive records I kept were my calendars -- at least my posterity will know how I spent all of my time!  Now I keep my calendar online and write little journal snippets in the notes sections of the day.  After each month I print out the whole monthly calendar and put it in my notebook.   Sometimes I write about my ideas and feelings as I read my scriptures. 

I am still struggling with consistency in journal writing.  But I am still struggling and wrestling with it.  My advice to any of you young mothers is "get back on the horse", try it another way, don't give up, never surrender.  Find your way.  It is of utmost importance.

"I don’t want to live in a hand-me-down world of others’ experiences.  I want to write about me, my discoveries, my fears, my feelings, about me."  ~Helen Keller~

"Write…your goings and your comings, your deeper thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies."  ~President Spencer W. Kimball~

DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!

I really believe in the commandment:   "... and men are, that they might have joy."  2 Nephi 2:25.  The ultimate freedom is to be able to choose how we feel.  So I choose JOY!  I tried to teach my kids to love BEING HAPPY and the skill to be able to make yourself happy.  One of my greatest memories was driving my blue Volkswagon Vanagon, fully loaded with my six kids and whatever stowaways, windows wide open to the world, radio blaring Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" and everybody singing along as loud as they could. 

I am sure I embarrassed the heck out of some of my kids.  But under those conditions how could anyone resist being happy!   I suppose it could work with just one person, but the more the merrier -- happiness is contagious.  I think I'll buy the song from iTunes and go driving around.  Wanna come with?                       

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy
Look at me I am happy
Don't worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got not girl to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy (now).....
There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don't worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
Don't worry don't do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Don't worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don't worry, be happy

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

Families Really Can Be Together Forever (Part II REFUGIO)

In a talk I heard someone important say that no child who has grown up into an adult looks back to his or her childhood and fondly remembers the remodeled bathroom.  Good childhood memories almost always have to do with family tradition, vacations and activities.  While we did not have all the money in the world to spend when our kids were young, we still had enough to have choices on how we spent our time and money. 

We sort of just fell into this tradition by accident:  CAMPING AT THE BEACH!  When my oldest was eleven and my youngest was one we came to visit our good friends when they were camping at Carpenteria.  Although we had planned on a one night stay, we ended up staying longer -- everyone was having so much fun!  The next year we made reservations for a whole week and have been camping at the beach every year since -- my youngest is twenty eight now.  This tradition grew to include many families and friends over the years. This year Bill and I witnessed our grandchildren playing on the beach with our friends' grandchildren.  Dejavu! 

Families Really Can Be Together Forever (Part I Just Ground Them Together!)

For some reason this was one of the things I always knew and one of the things that I really did right.  How do I know I did at least this one thing right?  All of my children are grown and four of the six are married and three of those four have children of their very own and they all have busy lives, BUT THEY LOVE BEING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.  I know this because they make extreme efforts to come together physically as much as possible and are always talking to each other on the phone.  They enjoy the company of each other so much that they even take long trips across the country to their silblings.    

Example:  One of my wonderful daughters-in-law introduced a new family tradition a few years back -- October Lombardi Ranch & Bill's Chili/Cornbread Dinner.  Although October is a very busy month, everybody who can be always is there.  We had a great time riding the train through Scarecrow Alley, climbing the giant pumpkins, looking at the smelly animals and running through the corn maze.  It is always a great photo opportunity as well.  Jeff stepped up and cooked chili for Bill who is really busy with the move to his new office.  A great time was had by all.

All siblings squabble and fight from the very beginning of life -- this is a fact.  When I became the mother of my second child, I intrinsically and instinctively knew it was my responsibility to teach my children to love and respect each other, to insure that home was a peaceful place and not a battlefield.  A lot of mothers just give up before they get started but I am very stubborn.  Motherhood is ultimate peacekeepingg mission.  I tried anything and everything in my arsenal until I discovered the ultimate weapon in putting down skirmishes before they developed into hundred year wars.  GROUND THE INSURGENTS TOGETHER!!!

This is how it works:  1)  Jimmy and Jenny have to be with each other all the time -- they play only with each other -- they work with each other -- they go to each other's activities (parties, practices,etc.); 2)  there is no time limit set or spoken -- groundation ends only when Mom feels in her heart that a true and lasting peace has been made between Jimmy and Jenny; 3)  Mom must never give in to pressure from Jimmy and Jenny to end the grounding.

The results are amazing.  Jimmy and Jenny unite against Mom (the greater foe) and before long they are having a great time with each other.  They help each other do their chores and homework.  They gain appreciation for each other's interests and talents.  Jimmy and Jenny become friends as well as brother and sister. 

I believe that the adult friendships my children have with each other were forged and cemented in those times they were grounded together as children as part of my peacekeeping mission. 

Sum... Sum... Summer Time!

I know I haven't posted anything for a long time.  That's because it is summer time -- my favorite time of year.  When my six kids were little and in school, I could not wait for school to get out especially -- no more school work, sleeping in, playing all day long, laying by the pool, no school/sports/community volunteer assignments...!  [Except for Girls Camp which I dearly love!]

I had my computer guy retrieve all my files on my old laptop and I found the original file of "my book" which is the first incarnation of this blog.  I am so excited because I can finally remember all of the oh-so-important and unforgettable snippets of wisdom that I have so quickly forgotten.  I may find that I wasn't  near as clever as I thought I was.  Anyways, I have a lot of subjects to write about now and I am beginning to have more time.

PAPERS, PAPERS, PAPERS! Part II (The Notebook)

When my father retired, Mom & Dad put everything into storage and traveled around the United States with their trailer.  Mom gave me a box with a collection of papers from my school years -- one or two examples of my finest art and most brilliant writing from each school year.  My whole family loved going through each and every year of my young life -- and I confess that I loved remembering that part of me.  My sister and brother also got a collection of their school papers. 

I am my family historian and I have six children's worth of papers -- writing, art, certificates, awards, etc.  There was so much more paper when my kids were in school than when my sister, brother and I were students.  I can just imagine how much more there is today.  Of course this caused another of those problem areas of motherhood thorns in the side -- how to organize and store PAPERS!!!  I tried many strategies of filing:  files in cabinets, 3x5 card filing systems, boxes for each child, etc.  I tried them all but, being undisciplined and an expert procrastinator, they all failed (or I failed them all).  All of these systems ended up created mountains of paper waiting to be filed, being moved from place to place.

KNOW THYSELF and TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!  I was never going to manage my paper going the traditional routes. 

Then Price Club (now Costco) came into being.  There I could purchase really cheap 3-4 inch ringed notebooks and archival safe page protectors.  This happened almost too late for me but you could be saved.  I began a one step filing system based on chronology.  Any paper I deemed worthy of keeping I placed it immediately before putting down into a page protector in a big notebook.  When the notebook became full, I open up a new one.  Because I file everything when it comes into the house into the next available sleeve, I never have to decide where to file it.  I also can usually remember what happened in the last bit of time so when I want to retrieve something it is easier to recover.  Example:  Jennifer's inoculations records --  must be before she could go to school, so that means kindergarten, so that means September when she was five so that must mean ....  You get my drift.  Isn't chronological filing wonderful?

Someday I will pull out each of my children's papers and scrapbook them into cute scrapbooks for their birthdays or Christmas presents.  But maybe I won't get around to it.  At least my kids won't have to delve into boxes of damaged scraps of papers or throw out whole boxes of memorabilia. 

This system is good for more than just scrapbooking.  I have begun doing all of my filing this way.  I have a notebook of birth certificates, car registrations, and other important papers conveniently placed for easy retrieval.  This really helped when we were on evacuation alert during the fires a couple of years ago.  I just popped out the screens of my guest room and threw notebooks out the window and into my car. 

You young moms have the advantage of technology:  digital photograhy and scanners make it possible to file electronically.  All of the billions of trophies my kids won went away technologically -- I snapped them digitally and tossed them.  If I was going to start today, I might go completely paperless.  But I would back up with an internet storage system and portable hard drives. 

My goal for 2011 is to have all my PAPERS organized and I am more than halfway there.  The key to my success this year is that I follow these rules:  (1)  Only touch a paper once if you can;  (2)  Place it in a notebook; (3)  Scan it, file it electronically and toss it.  I finally have a system that works for me.

PAPERS, PAPERS, PAPERS! Part I [The Stamp]

Five children in elementary school at the same time, five papers per day, five school days per week.  You don't have to be a math person (which I am) to figure that adds up to one hundred twenty five papers per week plus whatever papers your junior high schooler does or doesn't deliver.  125+ papers coming into my home every week not counting junk mail!  That is enough to bury a mom in trees!

Many of the papers were supposed to be read, signed and returned the next day.  If it wasn't overwhelming, it was time consuming and sometimes irritating.  I got tired of signing all those papers and sometimes I just wasn't available to place my John Hancock on each and every paper that needed signing.  Sometimes the kids forgot to get me to sign their papers.

Sooooo ....  I ordered a signature stamp!  Papers that needed signing went on the dining room table after school.  Then BAM, BAM, BAM with my stamp and it was done.  It got to the point that I would have the kids stamp their own.  Initially, the teachers objected.  And Jaclyn was afraid of getting in trouble.  After a little while, it became clear I was not backing down and I was not going to throw out the stamp.

I have to say I love my signature stamp!

HOW I DISCOVERED MY LAUNDRY ROOM HAD A FLOOR

Yes I really do have six kids -- I do.  How can you afford them?  Isn't it hard?  I could never do it!  Yes you could.  It really is easy except for one thing  -- THE LAUNDRY!!!  It is the hardest thing about having a large family.  For the first thirteen years of motherhood I struggled with getting the laundry under control -- never once getting it done completely. 

I had a day assigned to do all the laundry.  I collected it all, separated it into whites, lights and darks mixing everyone,s clothes together.  I could get it all washed but had a struggle separating and folding it and getting it into the drawers before the little critters had pulled out everything and mixed the clean clothes with the dirty clothes.  The result was mountains of dirty and clean clothes in the bedrooms and in my laundry room.  I took consolation by cruising by the house of one of my good friends who had more children than me and shall remain nameless.  I was buoyed up with the knowledge that behind her garage door was a laundry mountain higher and wider than mine.

My life changed the day my good friend, Evelyn Jones, taught me her system of doing laundry.  She has six kids the same ages as mine.  The following are the main elements of the Evelyn Jones method:

• Every person has their own dirty clothes basket in their room.
• Each day two people have a day of the week designated as their laundry day.  No one else may use the laundry room on a day other than their own.
• The older siblings are paired up with the younger ones and help them.  (When he was three, Jeff started doing his own laundry with the help of his big brother Jim.)
• Each person does one light load and one dark load, from sorting to getting it into the drawer, including their own sheets.  This is actually all the loads needed for one person so once a week everyone's laundry is totally done.
• Mom and Dad have four days left to do their own laundry, towels, bedding, etc. 
• The laundry days must be strictly enforced.  If someone misses, oh well!  They might have to make do for a week until their day comes up the next week.

I know all you other  perfectionists and control freaks will have to do what I did  --  LET GO!!!  Remember, if the laundry mountain is growing, if you have to move the mountain off your couch if someone comes over, if the mountains are in the way of your achieving peace and happiness, IT IS NOT WORTH STRIVING FOR PERFECTLY LAUNDERED CLOTHES.  It will only take a few minutes of wear and tear before people won't be able to tell that your kids do their own laundry.  (Who is checking anyways?)  The small amount of extra water, energy and detergent is minuscule compared to head shrinker bills.

The day I implemented Evelyn's method I found my laundry room floor.  There was carpet in the bedrooms as well.  I was no longer hampered with anyone's hamper but my own.  There was no longer an ironing pile.  I did not have to try to figure out whose underwear and socks were whose.  When I walked by an unclaimed sock, I felt empowered to toss it into the trash.  I was FREE!

P.S.  I'll write about the sock hill later.     

Ideas I don't want to forget to write about

I find that when I have a good idea come into my head I MUST WRITE IT DOWN.  Even or as important I MUST PUT IT IN A PLACE I WILL FIND IT LATER.  Sometimes I hide these important things so well they are lost forever!  So I have decided to post a list of the topics I want to post.  That way I won't forget.

oven pancakes
chores
penguins
papers
boat

Peace & Quiet In The Morning Time And The Night Time

There are certain times in the course of the day that mothers are prone to go crazy.  Those are the times when moms are trying to meet time deadlines, a lot of different things are going on at the same times, the needs of more than herself (and usually way more than herself like 7 other people or more) must be met in a small time constraint and she has not had enough time to get the rest she needs.  How many times did I use the words time or times in that sentence?  The noise level at those times is directly related to the number of bodies in one house and the stress level at those times is always magnified by the noise level. 

If you are a mom you know these times occur mostly at two specific times:  the morning and the evening, when it is just getting light and when it is just getting dark.  Is it a coincidence that most child abuse happens at these times?  I read this somewhere around the time I had a great idea come to me.

PEACE AND QUIET IN THE MORNING AND THE NIGHT!

It became our new rule and our mantra.  I would ask "What time is it?" to remind the kids and they would answer (in soft voices) "Peace and quiet in the morning and the night time!"  Morning time was when they got up in the morning until they left for school, play, etc.  Night time was when it started getting dark or when they came in from playing outdoors or when I starting getting dinner and did not end the whole night.  During those times there were no loud voices, no crying or whining, no running and wrestling, no loud television, no fighting.  This was the time to get ready, do chores, say prayers and read scriptures, work on homework, play quietly, get along with each other, pick up, etc.

This rule changed my life.  I was no longer the crazy woman; I accomplished all things better; I was nicer; I listened more; I found peace in my home.  It did not always work perfectly and many times we would need reminding with "What time is it?"  Battles in the morning almost disappeared and we were more happy with each other when we parted.  Having that rule helped us to calm down so we could have nice dinners and relaxing evenings together.  The spirit in our home and in my own soul changed.

Things I Know Now That I Wished I Knew Then

My name is Janet.  I am a wife, a mother and a grandmother (among many other things).  I started writing a book that I was going to give to my daughters and daughters-in-law to help them ahead of time when they were getting their own families started.  But the computer crashed .... 

Then I decided that this summer I would rewrite it as a blog.  I hope I can begin a new good habit this summer by keeping up with it.  The subjects I will write about are mostly solutions to my own personal irritations and failings as a wife, mother, homemaker, family historian, etc.  I am pleased to note that my daughters and daughters-in-law are right now already head and shoulders above me when I was their age.  Any bits of wisdom I will throw out to you all might or might not be of help to you.  Please feel free to make use of my hard earned experience or reject it -- my feelings won't be hurt.  But if I were to have a second chance to do it over I would ....