Friday, October 28, 2011

Families Really Can Be Together Forever (Part I Just Ground Them Together!)

For some reason this was one of the things I always knew and one of the things that I really did right.  How do I know I did at least this one thing right?  All of my children are grown and four of the six are married and three of those four have children of their very own and they all have busy lives, BUT THEY LOVE BEING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.  I know this because they make extreme efforts to come together physically as much as possible and are always talking to each other on the phone.  They enjoy the company of each other so much that they even take long trips across the country to their silblings.    

Example:  One of my wonderful daughters-in-law introduced a new family tradition a few years back -- October Lombardi Ranch & Bill's Chili/Cornbread Dinner.  Although October is a very busy month, everybody who can be always is there.  We had a great time riding the train through Scarecrow Alley, climbing the giant pumpkins, looking at the smelly animals and running through the corn maze.  It is always a great photo opportunity as well.  Jeff stepped up and cooked chili for Bill who is really busy with the move to his new office.  A great time was had by all.

All siblings squabble and fight from the very beginning of life -- this is a fact.  When I became the mother of my second child, I intrinsically and instinctively knew it was my responsibility to teach my children to love and respect each other, to insure that home was a peaceful place and not a battlefield.  A lot of mothers just give up before they get started but I am very stubborn.  Motherhood is ultimate peacekeepingg mission.  I tried anything and everything in my arsenal until I discovered the ultimate weapon in putting down skirmishes before they developed into hundred year wars.  GROUND THE INSURGENTS TOGETHER!!!

This is how it works:  1)  Jimmy and Jenny have to be with each other all the time -- they play only with each other -- they work with each other -- they go to each other's activities (parties, practices,etc.); 2)  there is no time limit set or spoken -- groundation ends only when Mom feels in her heart that a true and lasting peace has been made between Jimmy and Jenny; 3)  Mom must never give in to pressure from Jimmy and Jenny to end the grounding.

The results are amazing.  Jimmy and Jenny unite against Mom (the greater foe) and before long they are having a great time with each other.  They help each other do their chores and homework.  They gain appreciation for each other's interests and talents.  Jimmy and Jenny become friends as well as brother and sister. 

I believe that the adult friendships my children have with each other were forged and cemented in those times they were grounded together as children as part of my peacekeeping mission.